We can also feel the "loss" of something we never had, but planned or hoped for. For instance, an upcoming family vacation, competing in your sport this season, or starting high school along with your friends. When these types of plans get derailed because of your illness, it's normal to grieve over them, too.

If you know what to expect about your disease -- especially when it comes to appearance changes -- you probably won't have any surprises. You'll also have more time to prepare yourself for what might happen (and hopefully feel less helpless or defeated). Talk to your doctor and other members of your health care team to get the heads-up on anything that might throw you for a loop.

Although it may seem like doctors' visits, procedures, and other obligations can push everything else out of the picture, it's actually more important than ever to keep doing the things you've always loved to do (as long as you're physically able to do them, of course). Whether it's playing an instrument, following a local sports team, drawing and painting, going to movies, writing poetry...look at how you can still fit your interests and hobbies into your life. Even if you're not feeling up to it, you might force yourself to try even for just 10 minutes a day. The important thing is to find some way to stay connected with what's made you feel good about yourself in the past.

When you think about it, feelings of stress are not all that different from feelings of depression or low self-esteem. They're all mixed up with each other. Check out all our advice on what to do when you've Got Stress?

There will be times when you feel like hiding underneath your covers or curling up in the darkest corner of your closet. That's normal. But keep in mind that doing that will only make you feel more alone. If you feel like even your closest friends just don't understand, find someone who knows what you're going through. In fact, locating other young people with IBD should be a priority for you and your family. Feeling understood can really ease the pain.

Knowledge is power. Information can give us the tools and inspiration we need to take charge of a situation. Taking charge has a funny way of making us feel good about ourselves. In general, the more active a role you play in the management of your IBD, the more educated you are about what you can do to feel better day by day (in the long run, too) and the less helpless and defeated you will probably feel. You may surprise yourself with feelings of pride, strength, and accomplishment.

Keep in mind that not everything you're experiencing is unique or because of your disease. For instance, when it comes to puberty. You might be frustrated that you haven't gotten your period or sprouted facial hair yet, but remember that even if you didn't have IBD, you still might be waiting for it to happen...and you still wouldn't have any control over when it did.

Where to find these kindred spirits? Well, if you're on this Web site, look no further. But you can also find real-world compadres in support groups, camp, and at local CCFA events.

Make no mistake: these feelings are the heavy-hitters when it comes to our mental health. They're TOUGH to handle. If you find you're really struggling -- or just want someone to talk to during the initial period after being diagnosed -- therapy can really help. Remember that when you're physically sick, being emotionally strong and healthy will only help you recover, so you and your family might look at professional help as another important part of your treatment. For referrals to mental health professionals, talk to your doctor or IBD team or contact your local CCFA chapter.

Grief is what we feel when we experience loss, and loss comes in many forms.